What trauma‑informed fostering looks like in practice

Children who come into foster care often arrive with ways of thinking, behaving and relating that have helped them survive difficult early experiences. Trauma‑informed fostering starts with understanding this — and responding in ways that prioritise safety, connection and healing.

At Break, trauma‑informed care is something our foster carers are supported to use every day, with guidance from our therapeutic practitioner and supervising social workers.

Understanding trauma and the developing brain

When children experience ongoing stress, fear, neglect or instability early in life, their brains develop around survival. The brain’s alarm system becomes highly sensitive, keeping the child on high alert even when they are safe.

In these moments, the parts of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, problem‑solving and learning are much harder to access. Behaviour that looks unpredictable or challenging is often a survival response shaped by earlier experiences, showing up in the present.

Calm the body before guiding behaviour

One of the key principles we share with foster carers is: calm the body, then guide the behaviour.

When a child’s nervous system is in survival mode (fight, flight, freeze or shutdown), they aren't in a space to be able to listen to reasoning or correction. Regulation has to come first. This is where practical, everyday techniques make a real difference.

Grounding: coming back to the present 

Grounding techniques help children (and adults) reconnect with the present moment when emotions feel overwhelming. These can be as simple as: 

• slow, deep breathing, such as ‘blowing out candles’ 

• noticing the senses, like naming things you can see, hear or touch. 

These techniques work best when they’re practised during calm moments, not just in crises. Over time, they become familiar, intentional tools children can draw on when big feelings arise. 

Supporting regulation through the body 

We also support carers to understand how the body plays a role in feeling safe. 

Polyvagal theory helps explain why some children remain stuck in survival mode and how gentle physical actions can send safety signals to the brain. Simple activities such as running water over wrists, sighing, yawning or swallowing can help activate the vagus nerve, sometimes described as the body’s ‘brake pedal’. 

These signals help slow heart rate, reduce stress hormones and increase a child’s ability to engage, connect and calm.

Connection before correction 

A trauma‑informed approach always prioritises connection before correction. 

When children feel safe and seen, they are far more able to learn, reflect and recover from difficult moments. Viewing behaviour as communication rather than deliberate defiance moves responses away from blame and towards curiosity and empathy. 

At Break, we embed Dan Hughes’ Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP) model, including the PACE approach: being playful, accepting, curious and empathetic. This gives carers a clear, flexible framework for responding when things feel hard. 

Why this makes a difference 

When grounding and regulation techniques are practised consistently over time, children’s nervous systems begin to spend less time in survival mode. As baseline stress reduces, children often: 

• feel safer and more settled 

• recover more quickly from distress 

• become more able to connect with others 

• access learning and thinking more easily. 

These skills don’t just help in the moment: they support emotional wellbeing into adolescence and adulthood. 

Supporting carers to support children 

Caring for children who have experienced developmental trauma can be complex, particularly in a rapidly changing world. That’s why we believe foster carers need ongoing, trauma‑informed training and therapeutic support. 

By equipping carers with the knowledge, tools and confidence to respond therapeutically, we create the conditions for healing relationships, stronger attachments and more stable placements. 

That’s what trauma‑informed fostering looks like in practice — and that’s how Break supports foster carers and children to grow, heal and thrive together.